Mary or "Virgin" Mary?

It’s a wonderful time of the year! In keeping with the holiday theme of Jesus’s birth, two Sundays ago I began by teaching about Jesus’ pre-existence. Today, however, I touched upon the virgin conception of Jesus. The subject matter brought up a conversation between my teenage daughter and myself. The question was about why some refer to Mary as simply Mary and why others insist on referring to her as the virgin Mary. Here’s my explanation.  

For starters, both Catholics and Protestants affirm the virgin birth of Jesus. It is a central tenant of the Christian faith. However, when protestants refer to Mary as a “virgin” it is in reference to her sexual purity prior to her marriage to Joseph. Mary was a virgin when she conceived Jesus by “the power of the Most High” (Lk 1:35). Let’s consider Matthew’s account:

“Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.” (Matthew 1:18)

Notice that Matthew makes it a point to state that Mary became pregnant before she and Joseph "came together." Coming together here is a euphemistic way of referring to the marital act of consummation. The scriptures do not teach that it was necessary for Mary to remain a virgin after giving birth to Jesus, but only that it was necessary that she be a virgin at the time of Jesus’ conception. This was to fulfill what the Lord had spoken prophetically through the prophet Isaiah:

 “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).” (Matthew 1:22–23, ESV)

Therefore, it was only necessary that Mary conceive as a virgin so as to rule out any possibility that her pregnancy would have been the result of her marriage to Joseph. The Bible gives us good reason to believe that Mary resumed a normal marital relationship with Joseph after the birth of Jesus. Upon hearing of Mary’s pregnancy during their engagement period, the Bible tells us Joseph sough to break off the engagement, but the Lord sent an angel to tell him to not do so. The Bible then tells us that Joseph “took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus” (vv. 23-24). The “knowing” here is again a reference to sexual intimacy, i.e. Joseph did not “know” her in this way “until [after] she had given birth” to Jesus. Mary eventually bore Joseph children. Consequently, Jesus had siblings, half brothers and sisters (See Mark 3:31-35; John 2:12; 7:5; Acts 1:14).

The reason Catholics refer to her as the Virgin Mary is because they believe Mary remained a virgin for the rest of her life. Protestants, on the other hand, refer to Mary simply as Mary. This is in keeping with how the gospel writers themselves refer to her after Jesus’ birth. The fact of her virginity is only in reference to her conception of Jesus not to a perpetual state of being.

Mary’s humility and faith is worthy of our emulation. Like her cousin Elizabeth, we too call her blessed; “blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord!” (Lk. 1:45).