Thoughts on Depression, Penance and Worm Theology
I do not sense that the biblical truth that man is totally depraved was intended to beat us down and pulverize us so that we are set on course to a never-ending life journey of self-loathing and incurable depression. The truth of human depravity isn’t God’s big stick or whip to inflict pain as if he were some sort of sadomasochist. Human depravity isn’t flattering in any sense to us, but God reveals to us this most dreadful condition much in the same way a doctor regretfully must inform a patient of their grave illness. The patient must be willing to accept the diagnosis as accurate if he is ever going to submit himself to the proper remedy and God indeed has the cure for our depraved condition.
Here’s another way to look at it. “Self” is the problem. Our lives must be oriented around God, but most often our lives are God excluding because we are oriented around self. We are naturally man-centered and not God-centered. Let’s say that in “witnessing” you convince someone that their sense of goodness is a farce in God’s eyes because they truly aren’t good according to God’s law. The likely result is that they may no longer feel good about themselves, but bad. So then a person may move from feeling good about self to feeling bad about self, but do you not see that self remains the focus? The aim is to exhort the sin conscious and convicted person to look away from self and to look to Jesus and see in the cross a full and complete “satisfaction” for sins without any requirement or contribution on their end.
I intentionally used the word “satisfaction” in order to hopefully draw attention to the Catholic understanding of satisfaction and show how we may ignorantly, but still erroneously practice penance and not repentance. We have unknowingly invented a protestant version of penance by only excluding the physical and external self-flagellation aspect of Catholicism. We may not externally flagellate, but we do so internally by “beating” ourselves down with thoughts of self-worthlessness as if God becomes more and more satisfied by abasing ourselves more and more. We may think that by confessing how bad we are and loathe and cry “woe is me” that we are making “satisfaction,” but full satisfaction is found in the completed work of Jesus (looking outside self) and not in ourselves. Believing in sound doctrine does not atone for sin and neither does membership in any denomination. Tithing faithfully to the church does not provide salvific merit either. Church attendance won’t do it or praying incessantly. Faith and faith alone in the person of Jesus and his atoning work is what pleases God so that in his eyes we become "the righteousness of God" (Romans 3:22). Therefore do not focus too much on your badness (but don’t forget it either), but focus more so on God’s goodness that you may rejoice. Consider this great scripture:
I will greatly rejoice in the LORD; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. Isaiah 61:10
Here’s another way to look at it. “Self” is the problem. Our lives must be oriented around God, but most often our lives are God excluding because we are oriented around self. We are naturally man-centered and not God-centered. Let’s say that in “witnessing” you convince someone that their sense of goodness is a farce in God’s eyes because they truly aren’t good according to God’s law. The likely result is that they may no longer feel good about themselves, but bad. So then a person may move from feeling good about self to feeling bad about self, but do you not see that self remains the focus? The aim is to exhort the sin conscious and convicted person to look away from self and to look to Jesus and see in the cross a full and complete “satisfaction” for sins without any requirement or contribution on their end.
I intentionally used the word “satisfaction” in order to hopefully draw attention to the Catholic understanding of satisfaction and show how we may ignorantly, but still erroneously practice penance and not repentance. We have unknowingly invented a protestant version of penance by only excluding the physical and external self-flagellation aspect of Catholicism. We may not externally flagellate, but we do so internally by “beating” ourselves down with thoughts of self-worthlessness as if God becomes more and more satisfied by abasing ourselves more and more. We may think that by confessing how bad we are and loathe and cry “woe is me” that we are making “satisfaction,” but full satisfaction is found in the completed work of Jesus (looking outside self) and not in ourselves. Believing in sound doctrine does not atone for sin and neither does membership in any denomination. Tithing faithfully to the church does not provide salvific merit either. Church attendance won’t do it or praying incessantly. Faith and faith alone in the person of Jesus and his atoning work is what pleases God so that in his eyes we become "the righteousness of God" (Romans 3:22). Therefore do not focus too much on your badness (but don’t forget it either), but focus more so on God’s goodness that you may rejoice. Consider this great scripture:
I will greatly rejoice in the LORD; my soul shall exult in my God, for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. Isaiah 61:10
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